


Sleepless

by tenmillionotters



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 12:56:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8891638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tenmillionotters/pseuds/tenmillionotters
Summary: The words slipped over his lips with so much ease, they sounded so warm, touched him so deeply that he just wanted to vanish, disappear forever. “… and why would you care…?” Yeah, why should he…? If it wasn’t just pity that he felt for him, still, Souta wanted to be close to him. He sat down next to him and rested his head on his shoulder.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I finally wrote something again. Y e a h ;;

If he would still have anything of his humanity left in his body, maybe sleeping pills would have drowned out all the noise, the voices… the nightmares. He slept alone most of the time… until he found him. At first Souta wanted to play his little game, of course he knew of his brother’s darling, his partner of over twenty years… partner… that word had more than just one meaning. Especially for these two. 

But the very moment his confidence had reached the highest peak, the moment that he had sworn to himself that his act was perfect, that he couldn’t even tell himself who he was at this point… this man just ruined everything. A plan that he had been working on for ages ended up in smoke the moment those few words passed his lips, the moment he said… 

“You have to be really naive if you think I’d mistake you for Yoshitoki… if you want me to feel anything right now… all I feel is pity.” 

Why did these words have such an impact on him? Words he couldn’t forget, a feeling that he couldn’t shake off. All of the sudden he was depending on him, he wanted to make him see him and feel something that wasn’t pity. 

That’s how it started. Souta asked him to live with him, he said yes. Where ever he had been before, it seemed to be worse than staying with Souta. They slept in separate bedrooms, he barely spoke a word. Only gazed at him, there was no trace of disgust in his eyes, only pity. 

Souta watched him, there was no trace of disgust in his eyes, only curiosity. This man wasn’t conventionally attractive, but he had to admit that in his own way, he stood out among the crowd. He wasn’t ugly, but he wasn’t beautiful either. It felt like every line on his face told its own story and Souta wanted to become a part of it. 

It was another one of these nights, the nights in which he woke up screaming, drenched in sweat, nights in which he took a lonely shower before he went back to sleep, but this time he found someone sitting on the edge of his bed. 

“I heard you scream again, are you okay?” 

The words slipped over his lips with so much ease, they sounded so warm, touched him so deeply that he just wanted to vanish, disappear forever. “… and why would you care…?”, yeah, why should he…? If it wasn’t just pity that he felt for him, still, Souta wanted to be close to him. He sat down next to him and rested his head on his shoulder. 

“I have nightmares that just… are too vivid, I can’t tell if they’re reality or not… and I can’t stop them… I just don’t know how…”, maybe he was getting bold now, but he was confused and overwhelmed by his emotions, he wanted him to see him, only him, maybe he could drown out this noise. Souta stood up and pushed him back into mattress before he sat down on his lap, “… is it too much to ask for… if you could… love me just for one night? Please … just pretend I’m him and not myself just love me -” 

“Souta…”, Itsuki sighed as he lifted his hand up and let it run through the younger man’s hair, “… I want to love you… not him…” He felt his heat, his neediness. It was time to confront himself with the feelings he had buried in his heart, the very moment he felt them grow. 

His vision got blurry and tears started dripping down his long eyelashes, did he just… really…? Their lips touched for a brief moment, it felt like in this moment they got all the answers they needed. Souta whimpered and moaned as their lips touched again, Itsuki’s hands dug deep into his buttocks before their bodies started to grind against each other. 

The thin white shirt the younger man was wearing, every piece of cloth that still covered his body was too much, it was too distracting. Their lips touched, tongues rubbed against each other while they slowly undressed, letting go of shame and guilt. 

Souta was never the type to do things like this with any other feeling than lust, but now he wanted to lose himself in the feeling of being loved by someone. Even if it wasn’t real… even if it was just for this night. 

He felt Itsuki lift him up with so much care that he wanted to cry, would his life been different if he would have been with him instead of his brother? Out of all the things he had, maybe this was the one Souta wanted the most. To feel his lips touch his trembling chest before he placed him on the centre of the bed, to feel how his tongue drew thin lines over his stomach down to his lap where he stopped. 

Itsuki wasn’t a man of many words, he got quiet, more thoughtful. He raised his head and his gaze met Souta's. "...are you sure about this?” 

“I am…”, if there was anything he could be sure about, it was how much he wanted this, how much he wanted to feel him move inside of his body, "Make me yours… even if it’s just for now…” Let me pretend that you love me, he added in his mind. Souta moaned out loudly as he felt Itsuki’s lips wrap around his cock, his name dripped from his lips while he tried not to lose all control over himself, "It feels so good…” His mouth was so hot and damp, his throbbing cock moved in and out of his mouth in such a beautiful rhythm that he could only think about how natural it felt. It felt just like they belonged together. 

Would it be enough for him just to cum inside of his mouth? He tasted sweet… Itsuki didn’t even want to think about if it was the result of his rather peculiar diet or.. if it was just his perception of Souta. If he would ask him to stop he’d stop, but right now all he could think about was how much he wanted to move inside of him, connect with him and look into his eyes while he slowly lost himself in the feeling of lust. … or was it love? 

“I-ITSUKI!”, Souta’s fingers dug in his dark hair as he felt his finger slip into his rectum, he whined his name as he tried to fuck himself on his finger, after a while a second one slipped in and Souta felt his head spin and he gave up. Whatever he’d do with him now, he wouldn’t mind, all he wanted was Itsuki, nothing else. 

Three fingers, how excessive. But Souta loved it, he moaned louder, harder. More and more precum shot out of his cock into his throat, sticky and hot… it tasted delicious. Addictive. His fingertips brushed over the younger one’s prostate, teasing it until he came inside of Itsuki’s mouth while he screamed his name. 

It had been a while since he had done this. The older man pulled back, swallowed and carefully pulled his finger’s out of his body, “… do you want me to continue?” 

“Yes… I do…”, but he was nervous, how would it feel? Was there a difference between fucking and making love? Would he feel the difference…? But if this was only a lie, how could he tell if there was any difference to the times that he had sex before? 

“Stop thinking so much…”, the tip of his cock touched his entrance, he was dripping wet and painfully hard, Souta whimpered, it was such a strange sensation, for both of them, “Relax… I’ll take care of you.” 

His fingers dug deep in the sheets as he felt Itsuki enter him, he was so gentle and careful, it felt so good. It didn’t hurt, it wasn’t rough, he was just… 

“Don’t cry…”, but he would lie if he said he didn’t understand the notion, he would lie if he wouldn’t admit that these feelings were overwhelming. His hands slowly slipped below the younger man’s trembling body, his hips moved in a slow but steady motion. When was the last time he was this close to someone else…? Actually… this was the first time that he was close to someone… there was no emotional distance between them. 

Souta carefully wrap his legs around the other’s waist, let him fuck him gently, “I-Itsuki… It feels so good…” But he wanted something else, he wanted to tell him what really moved him… deep inside… 

“Mhm…” His skin was so soft, so warm, it almost felt wrong to kiss something so beautiful, so fragile. “I love you.” Did he tense up or…? All of the sudden he started whimpering, whining. 

“I love you too -”, he choked on his tears, was barely able to say anything, he was happy… yet… he wasn’t. Souta buried his head in Itsuki’s chest, as he cried a little more, but then his body reminded him of what they were doing, what he actually wanted. He was clumsy, still too inexperienced with things like this, but he tried to move so Itsuki knew that he should continue. 

There was no need to rush things, no need to hurry up… he gently kissed the traces the tears had left on his face. There was no need to cry now, even though it might have been better. Of course this couldn’t fix anything, but it let them forgot the world around them for a while. 

Itsuki dug his teeth into Souta’s neck while he increased the pace, he just couldn’t hold back any longer, he felt his body move, react to him. He wrapped his hand around his throbbing cock and looked into his eyes while he moved. 

If it was love that he saw in Itsuki’s eyes in this moment, it truly was something he had never seen before. This wasn’t like in his favourite movies, this was far from being a fairy tale romance… confessing their love while they were pressing their naked bodies against each other wasn’t conventional… nor was it romantic, but maybe it was just how they loved each other. 

Souta felt how Itsuki moved faster, how he filled him up, more and more. How he tainted him, how a part of his body slowly became one with Souta’s. His voice got louder, his body trembled harder under the sensation, their lips touched briefly, it was too hard to focus, hard not to lose control. 

He whispered his name so beautifully, he screamed it with so much passion as if he wanted everyone to know who he belonged to. Was it bad that he was slowly letting go of all the things that existed before Souta? Why did he remember a line from a drama now… that… if I was perfectly fine before I met them, why can’t I remember any of these days…? 

Their lips touched again, with more passion, needier than before, Souta moaned into the kiss, he wouldn’t last any longer and so would Itsuki. He could just tell by the way that the thrust into him, by the amount of semen he was pumping into him by now and as much as Souta wanted it to last, he wanted to feel him fill him up completely. 

How sweetly Souta screamed as he came inside of him, how beautiful he looked as he came himself, covering his stomach with his own fluids. Their fingers intertwined as they fully indulged in their love while their bodies trembled in the afterglow of the mess they made. 

“… it’s raining…” Itsuki couldn’t see it, with his head turned away from the window, so Souta drew the soft lines the rain left on the window’s on his back. “… it’s hard to tell… if the sun rises when it rains…” 

“But it still does…” His fingers brushed over his cheeks again. “… but you should sleep now… I’ll stay with you… so don’t worry about your nightmares.” Their lips touched again, one last time before they drifted off into a sound sleep.

**Author's Note:**

> The drama Itsuki refers to is Goblin: The lonely and great God


End file.
